When relationships end, many times there are a lot of regrets involved. People spend way too much time feeling sorry for being with someone that, ultimately, disappointed them. They regret all of the “wasted” time spent with someone that wasn’t going to be their “happily ever after” partner.
You’ve probably done this at least once, yourself. Others may have it happen to them ALL the time. There are so many reasons that you should never waste your time and energy on regrets.
While it may be common to focus on the negative parts of a relationship following a breakup, at some point, you need to recall the good times that happened, too. There HAD to be SOMETHING in the relationship that was good and made you happy at the time. Even those who have had completely dysfunctional relationships can usually come up with at least a handful of instances where things in their relationships approached normalcy and made them smile.
So, even if your relationship didn’t work out quite like you had hoped it would or had planned for it to, there were moments in it that did bring a smile to your face and laughter into your life.
There were most likely instances where your partner surprised you with either small gifts or expensive ones for no other reason than that they loved you. They may have also planned little getaways as a surprise. It may be something as simple as bringing coffee, tea or a full breakfast to you in bed when you wake up.
No relationship is without some moments that warmed your heart and made you feel good. If the relationship was so terrible that it NEVER had any moments like that at all in it, you’re much better to be out of it. In fact, you may want to seek therapy to find out why you would even consider being in a relationship that never once made you happy.
However, getting back to the regrets; there’s nothing to feel bad about if you thought that you were with someone that truly loved you and was being honest with you. If it turned out that this person was a liar and a cheater or whatever else, that has nothing to do with you and your intentions within the relationship. You were in it for all the right reasons and that’s all you have to answer for. What someone else did or did not do is not in your control.
Therefore, when you look back on past relationships, search for the moments that brought some happiness to you. While you certainly shouldn’t dwell on the past, it’s perfectly ok to hold those moments of joy close to your heart and remember why you were ever in that relationship. Just never allow yourself to regret anything that once made you smile because that wasn’t a bad moment. It was sweet and it was good, and is something to be recalled with a smile in the present.